WHICH CHARACTER SHOULD I IMPERSONATE FOR A FUTURE BLOG?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Practice Makes Perfect

I go to a stand up comedy workshop. They said the best way to become a better comedian is to record my act.

I recorded this last week in the basement of my dorm. My friend Arthur was my test audience. I wanted at least one person there for whatever reactions I could get. He's heard all my stuff before. Just want to say thanks, buddy.

Sorry about the sound quality. My wireless microphone messed up at the last second. You may want to turn your volume up.

Let me know what you think.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Donald Trump? What's wrong with this country?!

Back

I know it's been a while, kids. I've been busy with school lately. Since I'm on spring break, I hope to catch up on my blog. Expect the impression video soon in addition to some other little surprises.

Donald? Really?

Donald Trump is considering a bid for president.  

In an NBC/Wall Street Journal poll, Donald Trump was considered to be the best Republican candidate.

In a Newsweek poll, if the election were held to day, it would be neck and neck between Obama and Trump.

I had to make a video about this.What is wrong with this country? Did people from ebaum's (wink wink) mess with the poll?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Comedy 2-23-11

Sorry to the followers. I've been extremely busy and will be for a few more days. These next few blogs will just be quick updates. I'll get in Shaft (2000) before the end of February; I promise.

I went to a comedy workshop tonight.

I was extremely nervous, but I got some good notes. They can see that I'm funny, but I just need to develop my courage more. It's weird getting up in front of strangers and trying to prove you're funny.

BUT! I'm going to keep going until I have something to work with.

In other news...

I'm going out with a girl for coffee tomorrow. Her name's Alyssa. It's just a "getting-to-know-you" situation, but maybe it will turn out good.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Tonight 2-22-11

So I went out tonight with a really pretty girl to sing Karaoke. That's why there's no review of the 2000 Shaft.

I was outside, talking to my dad on the phone, this girl named Moriah came by and asked me-- out of the blue-- to go to Karaoke with her. She looked great, so of course I said yes.

We went and had fun. I ended up talking to the guy that runs my university's comedy group and I'm going to a stand-up workshop tomorrow night.

We sang Knockin' on Heaven's Door, You Give Love a Bad Name, Santeria, It's Tricky, and Roses.

Tonight went great. I got her phone number and her friends like me. Maybe that can work out. If not, I'm talking to another girl, so maybe that will go fine.

Any way you look at it, tonight was a good night.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Shaft in Africa

Shaft is back and this time he has to break up a modern day slave trade.

African men are working for Europeans for a small amount of money every month. Half of that money is collected by the slave traders.


Shaft is working for the Oraganization for African Unity. He poses as an African and infiltrates the slave ring. But someone keeps blowing his cover, so Shaft is constantly fighting for his life.

Well, don't feel too bad for him. This is pre-AIDS Africa, so you KNOW he's gonna get laid.

Throw in some cool fight scenes, beautiful shots of African nature, and some great dialogue and you've got yourself a good movie.

One of the best lines in the movie:
Shaft had previously beaten up one of the Africans assisting the Europeans in the slave trade.

The Africans are loaded up into a truck and dropped in the desert. They will be taken to a boat by some Arabs.

The man in charge, Zubair, commends Shaft, posing as an African named "Jowi," for beating up the African. As a reward, "Jowi" will get to ride a camel with the Arabs instead of walking.

Zubair: You know how to ride camel?
Shaft: No ride camel. Ride ass!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Shaft's Big Score

The thing I like about the Shaft series is that they don't skimp on the action or the story.

I don't think I'd go as far as to say that this is as good as the original Shaft, but as far as being a continuation of the story (which it is), it's perfect.

Basically, two black businessmen, Cal Asby and Johnny Kelly, have been running numbers in Queens. For those of you that don't know, running numbers is basically a private and illegal lottery. They were also running an insurance agency and a funeral parlor.


Asby was going to buy Kelly out for about $200,000. Kelly owed the mob for the same amount. Kelly planned to steal the money, kill Asby, and still retain his share of the business. He succeeds... for the most part. Asby hid the money.

Now the mob wants in on the numbers game. Kelly agrees, but he tries to maneuver a double cross by setting the Italians up against a black crimelord, Bumpy Jonas (a character from the first Shaft).

So where does John Shaft fit in all of this mess? Well, Asby was a friend and Shaft was fucking Asby's sister, Arna. Kelly is trying to kill Arna so he can control 100% of the business. Plus, Shaft wants that $200,000.

There are some really good fights in this movie. Shaft even gets his ass kicked which separates him from the seemingly untouchable characters in other blaxploitation movies.

There's also a really cool chase scene with multiple cars, a boat, and a helicopter. You don't wanna miss that shit.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Shaft (1971)

Let me start out by saying that John Shaft was originally a white man. I'm not saying that to "lay claim" to one bad mother... okay, I'll shut my mouth, but I was only talking about Shaft. Can you dig it? Yes, in the novels, he was written to be a white man. It wasn't until the success of Melvin Van Peebles's "Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song" and the creation of the blaxploitation genre that Warner Brothers got the message that black audiences mattered. Thus, Shaft became a black man. But enough of my Robert Osborne moments;  Let's get to the plot overview, eh?

The movie starts with Shaft walking down the street. He goes to get his shoes shined and gets a tip that some people have been looking for him. Shaft returns to his office only to be ambushed by two armed men. John Shaft fights the attackers. One of the attackers throws himself out of a window and falls to his death. I must state for the record that low-budget plummets-to-demise are some of the greatest and funniest things in cinema. The other man is captured and reveals the plan. What a snitch.


A local gangster, Bumpy Jonas (played by Moses Gunn), is trying to get his daughter, Marcy, back from the mafia. Shaft is told to seek help from a local Black Pather-esque group led by a man named Ben. Shaft will need an army and "Ben's got one."

The whole time, the police are worried that a fight between black gangs and the Italian mob will spark some sort of race war in New York City. Shaft reluctantly keeps in contact with the police via Lieutenant Vic Androzzi. The police know something bad is going to happen between the black gangs and the mafia, but they don't know the exact details. Androzzi pleads for information at every turn.

Can Shaft get Bumpy's daughter back? Can the police stop a race war from spilling into the streets? Will there be gratuitous 70s nudity?


There's fist fights, gun fights, falling deaths, molotov cocktails, machine guns, swinging through a window to save a damsel in distress. What more could you want? A song by Isaac Hayes? Sure! It's got that as well. And, yes, there's gratuitous 70s nudity.