WHICH CHARACTER SHOULD I IMPERSONATE FOR A FUTURE BLOG?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Practice Makes Perfect

I go to a stand up comedy workshop. They said the best way to become a better comedian is to record my act.

I recorded this last week in the basement of my dorm. My friend Arthur was my test audience. I wanted at least one person there for whatever reactions I could get. He's heard all my stuff before. Just want to say thanks, buddy.

Sorry about the sound quality. My wireless microphone messed up at the last second. You may want to turn your volume up.

Let me know what you think.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Donald Trump? What's wrong with this country?!

Back

I know it's been a while, kids. I've been busy with school lately. Since I'm on spring break, I hope to catch up on my blog. Expect the impression video soon in addition to some other little surprises.

Donald? Really?

Donald Trump is considering a bid for president.  

In an NBC/Wall Street Journal poll, Donald Trump was considered to be the best Republican candidate.

In a Newsweek poll, if the election were held to day, it would be neck and neck between Obama and Trump.

I had to make a video about this.What is wrong with this country? Did people from ebaum's (wink wink) mess with the poll?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Comedy 2-23-11

Sorry to the followers. I've been extremely busy and will be for a few more days. These next few blogs will just be quick updates. I'll get in Shaft (2000) before the end of February; I promise.

I went to a comedy workshop tonight.

I was extremely nervous, but I got some good notes. They can see that I'm funny, but I just need to develop my courage more. It's weird getting up in front of strangers and trying to prove you're funny.

BUT! I'm going to keep going until I have something to work with.

In other news...

I'm going out with a girl for coffee tomorrow. Her name's Alyssa. It's just a "getting-to-know-you" situation, but maybe it will turn out good.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Tonight 2-22-11

So I went out tonight with a really pretty girl to sing Karaoke. That's why there's no review of the 2000 Shaft.

I was outside, talking to my dad on the phone, this girl named Moriah came by and asked me-- out of the blue-- to go to Karaoke with her. She looked great, so of course I said yes.

We went and had fun. I ended up talking to the guy that runs my university's comedy group and I'm going to a stand-up workshop tomorrow night.

We sang Knockin' on Heaven's Door, You Give Love a Bad Name, Santeria, It's Tricky, and Roses.

Tonight went great. I got her phone number and her friends like me. Maybe that can work out. If not, I'm talking to another girl, so maybe that will go fine.

Any way you look at it, tonight was a good night.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Shaft in Africa

Shaft is back and this time he has to break up a modern day slave trade.

African men are working for Europeans for a small amount of money every month. Half of that money is collected by the slave traders.


Shaft is working for the Oraganization for African Unity. He poses as an African and infiltrates the slave ring. But someone keeps blowing his cover, so Shaft is constantly fighting for his life.

Well, don't feel too bad for him. This is pre-AIDS Africa, so you KNOW he's gonna get laid.

Throw in some cool fight scenes, beautiful shots of African nature, and some great dialogue and you've got yourself a good movie.

One of the best lines in the movie:
Shaft had previously beaten up one of the Africans assisting the Europeans in the slave trade.

The Africans are loaded up into a truck and dropped in the desert. They will be taken to a boat by some Arabs.

The man in charge, Zubair, commends Shaft, posing as an African named "Jowi," for beating up the African. As a reward, "Jowi" will get to ride a camel with the Arabs instead of walking.

Zubair: You know how to ride camel?
Shaft: No ride camel. Ride ass!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Shaft's Big Score

The thing I like about the Shaft series is that they don't skimp on the action or the story.

I don't think I'd go as far as to say that this is as good as the original Shaft, but as far as being a continuation of the story (which it is), it's perfect.

Basically, two black businessmen, Cal Asby and Johnny Kelly, have been running numbers in Queens. For those of you that don't know, running numbers is basically a private and illegal lottery. They were also running an insurance agency and a funeral parlor.


Asby was going to buy Kelly out for about $200,000. Kelly owed the mob for the same amount. Kelly planned to steal the money, kill Asby, and still retain his share of the business. He succeeds... for the most part. Asby hid the money.

Now the mob wants in on the numbers game. Kelly agrees, but he tries to maneuver a double cross by setting the Italians up against a black crimelord, Bumpy Jonas (a character from the first Shaft).

So where does John Shaft fit in all of this mess? Well, Asby was a friend and Shaft was fucking Asby's sister, Arna. Kelly is trying to kill Arna so he can control 100% of the business. Plus, Shaft wants that $200,000.

There are some really good fights in this movie. Shaft even gets his ass kicked which separates him from the seemingly untouchable characters in other blaxploitation movies.

There's also a really cool chase scene with multiple cars, a boat, and a helicopter. You don't wanna miss that shit.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Shaft (1971)

Let me start out by saying that John Shaft was originally a white man. I'm not saying that to "lay claim" to one bad mother... okay, I'll shut my mouth, but I was only talking about Shaft. Can you dig it? Yes, in the novels, he was written to be a white man. It wasn't until the success of Melvin Van Peebles's "Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song" and the creation of the blaxploitation genre that Warner Brothers got the message that black audiences mattered. Thus, Shaft became a black man. But enough of my Robert Osborne moments;  Let's get to the plot overview, eh?

The movie starts with Shaft walking down the street. He goes to get his shoes shined and gets a tip that some people have been looking for him. Shaft returns to his office only to be ambushed by two armed men. John Shaft fights the attackers. One of the attackers throws himself out of a window and falls to his death. I must state for the record that low-budget plummets-to-demise are some of the greatest and funniest things in cinema. The other man is captured and reveals the plan. What a snitch.


A local gangster, Bumpy Jonas (played by Moses Gunn), is trying to get his daughter, Marcy, back from the mafia. Shaft is told to seek help from a local Black Pather-esque group led by a man named Ben. Shaft will need an army and "Ben's got one."

The whole time, the police are worried that a fight between black gangs and the Italian mob will spark some sort of race war in New York City. Shaft reluctantly keeps in contact with the police via Lieutenant Vic Androzzi. The police know something bad is going to happen between the black gangs and the mafia, but they don't know the exact details. Androzzi pleads for information at every turn.

Can Shaft get Bumpy's daughter back? Can the police stop a race war from spilling into the streets? Will there be gratuitous 70s nudity?


There's fist fights, gun fights, falling deaths, molotov cocktails, machine guns, swinging through a window to save a damsel in distress. What more could you want? A song by Isaac Hayes? Sure! It's got that as well. And, yes, there's gratuitous 70s nudity.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Project Object

Thursday. February 17. The year of our Lord two thousand and one less than twelve.

So I have a reason for not following up with a blog at midnight EST as is my usual custom. I mentioned that I was going to a concert. I went to see a Frank Zappa tribute band: Project Object. This isn't your average cover band. PO is made up of some original Zappa band members and fronted by singer/guitarist Ike Willis.

I've never been to a concert before. I tried to get some of my friends to go, but they were either busy or just being typically uninteresting... in some cases both. I took some time off to get some sleep since I was out until the next morning (we're talking sunrise).

Here's the link to Project Object's website

It was a great concert. I got fairly close to the stage for the first half of the show and I was directly in front of the stage for the second set. I was able to take some pictures. Here are a few of the good ones:

 
It was a great concert. My only possible gripe could be that the band was not healthy. Ike Willis had a sore throat. He's the lead singer, so that changed the show entirely. BUT! We got a lot of good instrumental songs from the Frank Zappa catalog to make up for it. If they come near you, check them out.

I'll leave you with a video of them performing "Crew Slut". This isn't from the concert I was at, but you can at least hear what they sound like.



DON'T FORGET THAT TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF THE IMPRESSION POLL!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Superfly

This movie was made right after "Shaft." In fact, the director of "Shaft," Gordon Parks, put up some money for "Superfly." His son, Gordon Parks Jr., directed this movie. Expect a review of "Shaft" soon, by the way.

Ron O'Neal plays Youngblood Priest, a cocaine dealer looking to get out of the business. How does he plan to do that? One last deal worth one million dollars. Actually, he'll only get half a million. His business partner Eddie will take the other half.


They plan on selling 30 kilos of cocaine inside of 4 months. How will they get such a huge amount? They know a guy.

Scatter runs a restaurant in town. He bought it with coke money. He has the hook up for the 30 keys, but he's reluctant to give Priest and Eddie the information. You see, Scatter has recently retired from the coke business.

Eventually, he caves and gives them the information.

Can Priest make it out alive?

The soundtrack was performed by Curtis Mayfield. He performs the songs "Superfly" and "Pusherman." Both are really great pieces and they'll stick in your head.

The movie was made with essentially no money, but you can't really tell.

The dialogue is great and it has some great plot twists.


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song

This movie is said to be the reason why blaxploitation films began, so I would be remiss if I didn't talk about this film.


The overall story is VERY good.The movie, however, shows its shoestring budget.

Sweetback is a sex worker. He puts on shows with women while an audience watches and cheers for him.

There has been a murder and the public is clamoring for justice. To appease the public, two detectives talk to Beetle, owner of the whorehouse where Sweetback performs. They ask Beetle for one of his men. They want to bring in someone for appearances' sake. Beetle gives them Sweetback.

While they are on their way to the police station, the two detectives have to help some of their fellow police break up a black demonstration. The detectives arrest a young black man and put him in the car with Sweetback.

The detectives drive to some remote location and begin to beat the young black man. Sweetback can't stand to see it, so he takes a pair of handcuffs and uses them like brass knuckles to beat the detectives to death.

The man is appreciative and asks Sweetback where they're going. "What's this we shit?"

So... Sweetback is on the run. He's trying to get to Mexico. No one will help him. The police would rather kill him instead of trying to bring him back alive.

Can he make it?


So the story is pretty good. The way it's the way it's shot that is very odd. The way it's cut together can be confusing at points and there are times when the dialogue is repeated so much that you just want to stop watching. That point is when the police are questioning Sweetback's family members (later in the movie).

You can fast forward through a lot of the end chase sequence. Don't skip it, but you're not missing any relevant dialogue and seeing him run at high speed makes me laugh.

This movie gave an up-and-coming band a big start. Earth, Wind, and Fire performed for the movie. Melvin Van Peebles (director, producer, writer, star, editor, etc.) didn't have any money to advertise the film. He chose to release an album as a means of promoting the movie. It paid off. The budget was $500,000 and the film made $4.1 million.

I suggest this film to you in a reluctant way. The story is good, but the editing of the film is rather shitty.

The story is good enough to save it and is enough reason for you to see it, but there are elements of the film that really hurt the overall quality of the movie.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Human Tornado

Valentine's was uneventful, but maybe this week will pick up. I might go to a concert. More detail on that tomorrow. Don't forget the poll, kids.

This is the sequel to "Dolemite." I'm a big fan of these movies because either they were great parodies of blaxploitation movies at the time. Rudy Ray Moore was a comedian, after all.


  
Apparently, Dolemite has moved to Alabama (more on that in a little bit). He's set up pretty much the same operation he had in California. It's so similar that the locations are the exact same place (LOL@ budget constraints).

He decides to give his entire house to a preacher in order to start a club for boys (OMFG! MOLESTATION!).

At the party where Dolemite announces his decision, a naked white woman is waiting for him in his bed. Dolemite's the man.

A young white guy and his mother drive by Dolemite's place. They notice that there is a party going on and they are jealous of Dolemite's success. They decide to report the activity to the local sheriff. He's basically racist Santa.


The sheriff and his deputies raid Dolemite's place. They break into a room to find Dolemite having sex with the white woman. Racist Santa is shocked. Not only because it's interracial lovin', but because the woman is his wife. Racist Santa orders his deputy to kill them both. The deputy kills the woman.

Dolemite rolls out of bed, ass shining, and shoots the deputy. He then runs out of the house and jumps down a hill.

Dolemite escapes to California only to find that new problems plague him, Queen Bee, and a huge cast of characters that includes a young Ernie Hudson (OZ, Ghostbusters).

This movie features Dolemite's rhymes, an extremely weird sex scene involving about 4 black guys, a white woman, and a playground slide, great music, lots of kung fu (including a fight with a South American nunchuck champion), car chases that were noticeably sped up, and Rudy Ray Moore's ass.

If that isn't enough to make you want to see this movie, then you are too goddamn demanding.

Someone from GameTrailers.com was nice enough to give me this picture:

Monday, February 14, 2011

Dolemite

This is the first blaxploitation film for February which is Black History Month.

Why am I doing this instead of Valentine's Day bullshit? Because I'm going to be alone. Long story. I don't want to explain.





Trailer:


Plot overview:
Dolemite is the story of a man that was framed for a crime he didn't commit. He is released after spending two years in prison.

He was set up by a pimp named Willie Green. Willie Green has taken away almost everything from Dolemite. Willie Green (who is always referred to by that full name) has made good use of the two years of Dolemite's absence.

Now that Dolemite has been released, he wants what is rightfully his. Willie Green wants Dolemite dead. Willie Green conspires with two dirty cops and the mayor in order to stop Dolemite.

Dolemite isn't on his own. He has an army of women that have become masters of karate.

Will Dolemite regain his lost empire? Will Willie Green triumph and reign supreme? See for yourself sometime.

Review:
Keep in mind that this was made in the 70s and this was a low-budget movie. Not everything is going to be visually stunning.

It seems like the movie was shot a little be in sequence. The first scenes in the movie looks like they were made first. How can I tell? Queen Bee, den mother of Dolemite's female army, doesn't have the voice that the character has for the rest of the movie. It's like she was trying to figure out how the character should function.

The fight scenes are a little cheesy. The sex scenes seem to go on forever. I hate that in regular movies because if I want to see people have sex, I can watch a movie with nothing but that in it (but that's a completely different blog entirely).

It definitely has some funny moments. There's a character named the Creeper which shouldn't be missed. He's basically a broke pimp that begs for food. That isn't the funny part, but it should give you an idea of what to expect.

The characters and dialogue is memorable. The plot is a tad confusing, but it all works out.

I think you should give Dolemite a try.

Rotten Tomatoes gives it 43% critic and 66% audience.

DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THE IMPRESSION POLL! VOTE PLEASE!

- Snerd

Sunday, February 13, 2011

TALK TO ME!

Before we get into today's daily dose, let me say a big "THANK YOU" to everyone that's started following this blog. I've done some networking via twitter, YouTube, facebook, and a few other places. It's great to know that if you reach out to people, they can be quite receptive. Thanks, kids.

What're You Laughin' At?

I can do several different things that are funny. I can do political humor, but that's dated and it can suck and drive people away. Example: Bill Maher is funny in the moment. No one wants to hear a George W. Bush joke during the Obama administration.


 I can do a few impressions like Meat Wad from ATHF, Hank Hill, Box from Logan's Run, The American Dream Dusty Rhodes, and a few other obscure characters which are mainly just used for their voice and to put them in stupid situations.

Whatever I do, I want to be myself... even if it's pretending to be someone else, I guess. I ask because I'm trying to assemble my stand up act and I don't want it to be "Women have killed my soul, my dick is funny, your taste in music sucks." I guess I need to vary my topics.

If you want to hear any impressions (I do some great Muppets), let me know. Leave a comment and I'll make a poll with the top results. The winner of the poll will be made into a YouTube video.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Day 1: Part 2

What? I thought it was a funny title.

So I've gotten a few comments asking where this blog will be going. The answer is: I don't know. I want to have a blog about whatever subjects I want to talk about.

I don't want to have a blog that's dedicated to one, hum-drum thing. I want you to check here every time there's a new post with the thought "What will he talk about next?" Now let's get started...


Walk Out Like an Egyptian

Hosni Mubarak has stepped down.


For those of you that have been living under a rock lately: He used to run Egypt. That is until he resigned on Friday. Egypt will be under temporary military rule. I fear that while they may have gotten rid of an evil autocrat, they will probably get an evil autocrat with an army.

"Meet the new boss/Same as the old boss."


Waiting for Superman? Aquaman's Not Busy. Call Him.
 

I saw this movie last weekend. Basically, our schools suck. I thought my school was bad, but it looks great compared to some of the things I saw in this great documentary.

All the money we're throwing at education? It goes to administration, for the most part. I've worked in the local public school system. I thought it was only true here because we're in a hick area that doesn't know its ass from a hole in the ground.

Here's a trailer for the movie:

NOTE: The closed-captioning for the trailer doesn't make sense for the most part, so not only is it a good trailer for a great movie, it has the added bonus that the captions are hilarious.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Day 1

Hi. I'm Snerd. It's a pen name, I guess. It's mostly just so I can spew my stupid ideas without embarrassing my real name too much. You're welcome, Dad.

I'm currently a college student. I'm majoring in English and Political Science, so I can hold a conversation about many things. I might not be right about things, but I can at least seem that way. I'm a writer and a comedian, so I will try to make this funny when I can.

I suppose I should ask a question to illicit some comments. Does anyone here know anything about Gideon International? You know. The company that puts Bibles in hotel rooms.

I'm currently writing a story that requires some information. The more that can be revealed, the better.

Anything other than the Bill Hicks theory would be appreciated.

Almost forgot! The Twitter link! Follow me: http://twitter.com/#!/SnerdWilliams

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